Saturday, 4 January 2014

Dappy Boasts He's Rich Just Days After Going To Bankruptcy Court [News]

We know you’ve all been worried about Dappy after he was kicked in the face by a horse and then had to beg a bankruptcy court for more time to pay his tax bill. But stop worrying. He’s laughing about the horse incident and boasting that he’s rich. We love a happy ending. And there’s nothing a tax man likes more than seeing someone who owes them thousands claiming they’re rolling in the stuff. This has all turned out for the best and no one had to degrade themselves by appearing on a reality TV show *sound of record scratching to a halt*.
All this news comes from the slackjawed cockspanner himself. He’s having a bit of a day on Twitter because he’s just premiered his new single called Animal. It’s terrible. No, really terrible. Not an ordinary, Radio 1 playlist kind of terrible. This is jaw-on-the-floor, has-everyone-gone-insane, it’s-just-an-idiot-shouting-rubbish terrible.

Have a listen…

Two interesting points to note:

“I will survive / Even if I tell my boss to do one and I quit my nine to five."

Who even knew he had a job? Supermarket trolley collecting’s loss is pop music’s game.

But we’d mostly like to direct HMRC’s attention to this choice lyrical morsel…
"Worth hundreds of thousands / I scream money every time I call my accountant."


And now please cast your eyes on these tweets wot Dappy did do, earlier today…

He doesn’t say “record deal” though. So he could just be hinting at his rumoured appearance on Celebrity Big Brother. We’ve had a bit of an ask around (the immediate area in front of our desk) and everyone agrees that £250,000 is a realistic appearance fee for someone of Dappy’s twateriety.
Then again there might just be a record label out there stupid enough to give him a massive advance, in some kind of consumer-based experiment to see whether Dappy will produce more hit records than the room full of monkeys with fart machines they’ve also signed.
And a legal expert we met in a pub that’s since burnt down tells us that it’s common practice for financially struggling artists of the musical persuasion to declare bankruptcy immediately before signing a new deal – that way the money can’t be seized as an asset.
And if that’s what’s happened then… it really is a shit business.

[Source Holy Moly]

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